This just in: Dominique Ansel is now drizzling bits of waffle with espresso and maple syrup. Allow that one a few minutes to soak in.

Now, I had a few thoughts after seeing the Waffogato’s first headshot on New York Magazine’s website. I first thought the waffle itself, which is actually vanilla ice cream and tapioca pearls molded into a waffle shape, looked kind of dry and flavorless.

I can’t describe why, it just looks really hollow and makes me think the Vermont syrupy-glaze wouldn’t soak in like it would in a fluffy, fat Belgian waffle. With good ol’ Bisquick batter.

My second thought was that it was trying too hard to be different. Kind of like the girls who max out their credit cards on Free People maxi-dresses right before Coachella. And wait, tapioca? Ugh. Let’s not reinvent the wheel, here.

The whole thing reminds me of the lyrics in the Raconteurs’ song, Top Yourself, that go ‘How you gonna top yourself/When there is nobody else..’ This New York City bakery is perpetually trying to top itself since the Cronut became a household name. Just give me a classic Belgian waffle with melted butter and some Aunt Jemima syrup, please. Some things just shouldn’t be messed with.