This just in: Dominique Ansel is now drizzling bits of waffle with espresso and maple syrup. Allow that one a few minutes to soak in.

Now, I had a few thoughts after seeing the Waffogato’s first headshot on New York Magazine’s website. I first thought the waffle itself, which is actually vanilla ice cream and tapioca pearls molded into a waffle shape, looked kind of dry and flavorless.

I can’t describe why, it just looks really hollow and makes me think the Vermont syrupy-glaze wouldn’t soak in like it would in a fluffy, fat Belgian waffle. With good ol’ Bisquick batter.

My second thought was that it was trying too hard to be different. Kind of like the girls who max out their credit cards on Free People maxi-dresses right before Coachella. And wait, tapioca? Ugh. Let’s not reinvent the wheel, here.

The whole thing reminds me of the lyrics in the Raconteurs’ song, Top Yourself, that go ‘How you gonna top yourself/When there is nobody else..’ This New York City bakery is perpetually trying to top itself since the Cronut became a household name. Just give me a classic Belgian waffle with melted butter and some Aunt Jemima syrup, please. Some things just shouldn’t be messed with.

Just when you were warming up to the idea of bacon-flavored martinis, three chefs from Los Angeles are throwing you a few new ones. The “Oreo Snack Hacks” appeared in a  New York Daily News video posted April 9th to introduce, among other things, the Oreo Shandy, which fuses the after school-snack classic with light beer, sugar and water, as well as a recipe for Oreo-flavored tortilla chips, and even cookie-crusted chicken tenders.

Sound gross enough to be delicious? According to food truck-artisan Roy Choi, you won’t know until you try it.

“A snack hack is turning the Oreo into something you’ve never imagined it could be,” he said. “I was thinking you could put it on dental floss and then have it roll down the dental floss into your mouth.”

Watch Choi, along with Michael Voltaggio, the winner of season six of Bravo’s “Top Chef” and Nguyen Tran of the L.A. hotspot, Starry Kitchen demonstrate a few disgustingly-delicious takes on the Oreo via Gawker, who has since jumped on the bandwagon.

And if you want to take a stab at making them yourselves this weekend:

Michael Voltaggio’s Oreo Shandy

9 Lemon Oreo cookies
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
24 ounces of light beer

Nguyen Tran’s Oreo Bread Pudding

5 Oreo cookies
1 snack-sized bag of peanuts
1 snack-sized slice of pound cake
½ cup diet cherry so

Roy Choi’s Chicken Tenders

2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts, pounded to about ¼ inch thickness
1 cup (15) golden Oreo cookies, wafers only
1 cup all-purpose flour
2 eggs, lightly beaten with 1 tbsp water added
1 cup panko bread crumbs
1 cup chopped Italian flat-leaf parsley
Kosher salt and fresh ground pepper
About 2 cups of vegetable oil for frying1.Pulse cookies (wafer only) in a food processor until fine

Michael Voltaggio’s Oreo Tortilla Chips

36 Oreo cookies
1 cup all-purpose flour
½ cup water
¼ cup powdered sugar for garnish

Video courtesy of YouTube.com, via the Oreo Snack Hacks.

First off, let’s get one thing straight. I do love a good weekend brunch in Manhattan.

Few dishes taste more like a happy Sunday than a perfectly-poached egg over an English muffin smothered in hollandaise.  But you know what’s just as delectable? Soaking in a spring day on the rocks of a waterfront park in Westchester, overlooking the Hudson. I went to Ossining’s 5th Annual Earth Day Festival on Saturday, and remembered, not for the first time, why I always say that having a knowledge of the Hudson Valley and living in the city really feels like having the best of both worlds. You can enjoy the outdoorsy-festivals, and still remain in close proximity to a certain mindblowing crab cake-Eggs Benedict in the East Village–the location of which shall remain unnamed– that reminds you why New York City brunch is a thing.

But there’s definitely more out there, and can I just say that this particular festival from the organization, Green Ossining, was awesome. Captain Lawrence Brewery‘s Freshchester on tap, hot dogs grillin,’ and a woman describing the benefits of personal beekeeping while handing out samples of Buckwheat honey. There were also vendors there to educate locals on how to live more sustainably.

I guess you could say it was like having Saturday brunch..

..in a room with a pretty fantastic view.

That’s what I call a Happy Meal.

Tree pose skills seen in photo: courtesy of Integral Yoga Institute New York City.

I think I’m addicted to finding new ways of doing things. Like eating. Mostly eating.

Last night I made tortilla chips from half a fajita that was about to go bad in the fridge. Now normally, I’m not a chip person, but I am a cinnamon and butter person, which are two of the main ingredients listed in this Fitness Magazine recipe. I should include here that they were absolutely delicious, but did kind of puff up in the oven and come out sort of flaky. That may have been because I was supposed to leave them on the cookie sheet for 10 minutes though, and was too distracted by the leftover pizza I was eating to keep an eye on the clock– that said, the tortilla slab was probably in there for more like 12-13 minutes.

ALSO! Instead of the vanilla yogurt, I topped these babes with Walnut & Fig jam. Just as good, especially for sweets lovers like me and everyone else who prefers the tastier things in life. FYI – would have posted my version of the chips, but does anyone really want to see a picture of the yogurt-to-go container I brought them to work in on my boring brown desk? Didn’t think so.

Recipe for Cinnamon Dippers

Cut a 6-inch corn tortilla into wedges, brush with 1 teaspoon melted low-fat butter, and sprinkle with a pinch of cinnamon. Bake in a 350-degree oven for 10 minutes. Dip cooled chips in 1/3 cup nonfat vanilla yogurt.

(Photo courtesy of FitnessMagazine.com)

Which came first, the chicken or the egg?

Neither! If you’re asking the American people, who already scarfed down a grilled chicken sandwich and an order of Buffalo wings in the time it took to wait for the answer. According to a Bloomberg report from today, beef and pork prices are at a record high, and the U.S. population will eat the most chicken it’s had in three years.

Wholesale prices for chicken have also shattered records, and have led to a profit surge for companies like Tyson Foods Inc. (TSN). Since the end of 2012, whole chickens sold by Georgia farmers climbed 9.2 percent, and are now priced at $1.07 per pound, USDA data shows. Even Ozark Mountain Poultry, a distributor based in Arkansas,  says he can’t keep up with the demand — and they process 3 million pounds a week. “We’ve sold out,” said a salesperson for the company.

That’s a lot of bird.

 Photo courtesy of: http://www.rgbstock.com/

Ah, New York City public transit. Always a friend or foe, depending on a number of factors:

1. Whether you forgot your coffee on your kitchen counter that morning.

2. How tired/pissed/hungry you are.

3. How badly you just want to get the hell home.

I was waiting on the NQ platform at 59th Street/Lex on Friday, where I experienced, not for the first time, what happens when you have to wait more than 6ish minutes for a train. For the first few, everyone can usually keep it together. Then you start seeing people look into the bowels of the platform every 30 seconds for the train that JUST ISN’T COMING. (No, those red and yellow lights aren’t from the train, they’re just a reflection of one coming in the opposite direction.)

Pretty soon there’s panic. Like when the N finally came after 15-20 minutes, and there was another ten minute delay. After the same recording of “Stand clear of the closing doors, please” sounded three times to no avail, I heard a guy say under his breath, “Just close them. Please.”

It’s fair to say this guy was about to reach his breaking point, but really, it could have been me if I had been a little bit more of 2 and/or 3.

Thank you for riding with New York City transit.  Please keep our subway system clean, and litter-free..

 

Tell anyone in New York or its surrounding areas that you live in Astoria and their first response is always, “Oh, Astoria! There are some great Greek restaurants around there, right?!” Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s true. I’ve had some of the best feta cheese and tomato salads here, like at E-Taverna on 23rd Ave., but here’s what nobody knows: the pizza here is god awful.

When I first moved here two years ago, I found this out firsthand and was so shocked and discouraged that I kind of gave up hope. Give me a good Greek spinach pie any day, I would say, and pretend that I didn’t miss Friday nights at my parents’ house in Westchester, where the pizza is.. better. I’d walk into Astoria pizza shop after pizza shop and be greeted with the kind of rubbery cheese and practically non-existent sauce I could have had in the Midwest. Eventually I stopped trying.

Well, I found it. Finally!

Tufino, one of Ditmars Boulevard’s latest acquisitions, has some of the best brick oven pizza I’ve had in the city. Dare I say, it’s just as good as Roberta’s in Buschwick and not nearly as crowded. The dough is super-soft and not too salty, the tomato sauce doesn’t taste the least bit processed, and the cheese isn’t goopy at all. It’s also totally unpretentious and was named one of the best new spots in the area by the website, WeHeartAstoria.com. Now I’m so inspired that I’ve decided to re-ignite my search.

Now on to Milkflower and Rizzo’s. And can I just say, I Heart Astoria.

Photo courtesy of Seamless.com.